Oaks Surgery

Few things...

Today Oak had his surgery, went well, in and out. He did come out of surgery and wake up a complete monster. He didnt want anyone touching him and he continued to rub his eye. The nurse was adament about him not even coming close to his eye. I have never seen him like that, complete meltdown, entire body straining and looking at me with a facial expression that screams 'why'. We got him home and he is running around like nothing ever happened. It did make me think about trauma to so many other kids out there, Oak's procedure was simple, short and safe. I commend all those who have experienced anything above and beyond this. This was trying for me.

While growing older your definition of love goes through many stages. I remember the first time I knew just general LOVE, i went through a time where i feared the loss of certain people to no end, not until i made the connection that the emotion was LOVE did i ever move forward. It was a positive compliment. Then i met Amber and it was romantic LOVE, infatuation, a crush, then in the way all LOVE develops a desire to always protect, to care and not know what to do without this person.

Oakley drives me nuts at times, gets on my nerves but as i thought about him today and this last week, i thought about him not being in my life today. What would it be like without a voice, little steps always wanting to know what you doing, what your eating... he teaches me more than i teach him at times, Parenthood makes you strive to be more than who you are currently. Oak encourages me to be a better husband, son, brother, and friend. To reach people with the best of who you are as a person. I can only try, i wont ever master any of that. But today i am better than i was because of him.

Going to the JMayer concert on Tuesday, i have always said i never wanted to meet him...

'edge of desire' is that song i have been searching for